Celebration of Differences

The moment I said "I DO"
I believe that the two becoming one was a moment that I would accept and tolerate my husband.
Tolerating his interests, his hobbies, his views (even his political views). Then, I realised that we were two independent people with different backgrounds. We were two people with different identity but were seen as one indivisible unit. Unfortunately, he didn't see me as separate from himself anymore, instead I was the extension of himself and his wants, to the detriment of my own. I felt like I didn't belong to myself. Somehow, he controlled me to be someone he wanted me to be and I have lost my identity as individual.

Then, comes the moment we learnt how to celebrate our differences, be good friends, and support each other without too many things to argue about. I don't like to play chess and I don't need to push myself to master this game just to be able to spend time with him. I learn to make a deal that I could write or read when he was busy playing chess. One time, I pushed him to watch a horror movie and he ended up sleeping in the cinema because he didn't enjoy it. He did it for me and this is not healthy although it sounds romantic. He did many things in similar way to me. But, we learnt if we continue this way, we could not grow into better individual.

I believe many couples experience this issue. In my opinion, it's better to take space for a while to think about whether the marriage/relationship can be saved or not. Free your will, communicate your will, because if there's love and commitment, I think your marriage/ relation will be more beautiful and stronger with all the unique differences from both sides. The differences will make you Alive!